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01.01.1970 01:0000    Comments: 0    Categories: You Asked (Text Files)      Tags:



The following is a response Ed Smith made to a person who sent in a long letter. The letter has not been included to protect her identity and story. However, his response is self explanatory.


Dear _____________________,


I am very proud of you that you have come as far as you have in your journey. I cannot imagine how difficult this has been for you. You must have a very special place in the Lord's heart to be called to suffer as you have. I will be in prayer about your situation but am sorry to say that I cannot offer more. I will not be able to correspond with you further but will offer some direction in this reply. As I read your letter several things came to mind. There are just observations and nothing more since I do not know you or the details of your situation.


1) You are right to say that logically understanding your SRA situation is not the same as healing or being free. However, it is a start. It has been my experience that people who report what you have must take the long and gruesome journey of opening up and releasing what is known. This means that all the protective parts of your mind must be willing to show you all that is hidden. This includes what you remember about the events and what you felt. You will need to visit all the memories that you are holding that are creating the DID. Dissociation is a means of protecting oneself from that which one does not want to know. Each part is holding some aspect of knowledge/feeling about what happened. Until your whole mind is willing to revisit all those places and know what is hidden and feel all that is there you may remain stuck.

2. Abreaction is not freedom. Just passing through the memory and feeling all of its pain is not the end. You must encounter the Lord in each place. This can occur as you are willing to let go of all of the defenses that stand between you knowing the truth of what happened. Once the defenses are let go and you pass through the pain, look for the beliefs that are held in these places such as: "I'm going to die", "I am bad", "I belong to them" "I am dirty and yucky" etc. (these are just examples and may not be your beliefs at all.) When you uncover what is hidden and cry out to Him, He will give you His truth. It is truth that sets you free. When you receive it the pain should lift in each specific place and not come back.

3. You said that you decided to "reconcile" with those you believe have hurt you. Forgive you can do in that forgiveness is focused on the offense. However, reconciliation requires that the one who has hurt us is willing to admit their wrong and come clean. Did this happen? If not then reconciliation did not occur. I would like you to ask yourself the question "Why did I go home?" Listen down deep inside to hear what is there. The Christian-right-thing-to-do answer is not the one you are looking for unless this was indeed the genuine answer. Ask yourself "What would it have felt like if I decided NOT to go home. If this stirs up fear or other negative emotion then I would encourage you to find out why. Also you said that you did not switch out when you were there. How do you know? This is the very purpose in switching is to keep the conscious mind from knowing what is going on. It is when one switches that the stuff tends to happen.

4) Find someone who is good with using this ministry or other ministries like it. Commit to a long journey. You said you have been triggered by the holidays; when this happens choose to focus on this emotion and be willing to follow it to its source. Ask yourself, "What do I believe will happen if I go to where this emotion is coming from. The resistance to go there may a part of your mind doing its job. Find out what is believed that keeps you from going to the place of pain. Once this belief is identified hold it up to Jesus and get His truth. Continue to do this until you get to the memory. Pass through the entire memory uncovering all that is hidden in what happened and what was felt. (This will be hard.) Once through it allow the Lord to give you truth. Look back through all parts of the memory feeling it carefully. Any place where there is still pain is evidence of a lie still held to.

5) You said that you wanted to do ministry with others who are hurting. I would encourage you to focus on your own healing and less on others until you are further down the road. Do all of this under the care of skilled and knowledgeable people. Also find a good general therapist and medical doctor to oversee the process and watch over you.

6) It is good that you have kept your journey "clean" by not exposing yourself to anything that has been written about SRA. Avoid reading materials etc. Otherwise someone will come along and say you made it all up or that it came from reading things. I personally think that is highly unlikely. I know a lot about SRA have walked with people through hundreds of horrible memories and I have never even had a dream, false memory etc. about it myself. Nevertheless, do not let people put any information in your mind. Avoid ministers that want to tell you what has happened to you or appear as an expert on this subject. Experts are few and far between.


Please know that this letter is not advice to you but merely observation and my thoughts about what you have written. Only apply what has been written if you are in a safe place with adequate support.


I pray that you find the freedom you desire very soon.


Ed Smith

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