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01.01.1970 01:0000    Comments: 0    Categories: You Asked (Text Files)      Tags:

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Dear Dr. Ed,

 I have been through the basic and advanced I have studied your Manual. I have had 3 different very experienced Theophostic ministers try to help me without any real success. I can feel the present emotion but I can't go back and really feel the past. I don't realize truth or hear the Lord or anything. This is in 30 hours of ministry. It is really making me feel bad, like there is something wrong with me that God won't show up. The ministers have gone thru the road blocks without any success. If there is any way you can think that could bring me a breakthrough I would greatly appreciate the help. Thanks for your ministry I can't wait for God to use this in my life. 


Dr. Smith's response:


I actually know in some measure the struggle that you have shared in your letter. I too have a very difficult time getting to the places that I need to get to in order to find release and ultimate peace. I am not sure why some people appear to have little to no difficulty feeling the emotion and identifying its lie based source and then hearing so clearly from the Lord. Sometimes I am a bit jealous of how easy it appears to be for some. I may have to wait until heaven and ask the Father the reason for the difference. In the meantime I can only offer some suggestions that have helped me in the process.


1) I try to do TPM on my own as much as possible during the times that I am stirred up emotionally. If I can attend to seeking to identify the lie based source in the midst of the actual life situation that has triggered me, I seem to be more productive. This means that I must choose to disengage with the current moment, stop blaming what has happened and choose to own my pain as my own. Sometimes this is difficult but when I am able it seems to move me further into finding release. I have a chapter in the new Basic Seminar Manual that gives some guidance on doing self-TPM.


2) You said that your facilitator's have worked through the blockage but yet you have not found truth and peace. If you are feeling the emotional pain and have moved past the blockage to the lie-based thinking and yet have not found truth then you have not yet moved through the entire blockage. There is still something that has you where you are. I assume that you have the new revised Basic Seminar Manual (2005 edition). In this manual I have written an entire chapter on this very issue. I have come to realize and accept that the reason that we are not able to move into freedom has everything to do with two main factors; belief and choice. Rather than rewriting the chapter I will point you to this for your own study. There is always a belief that we are holding that is keeping us stuck. This belief is a "guardian lie" that stands in front of our moving forward. We are not stuck because of others behavior, the devil's involvement or God withholding anything. We are stuck because we believe something about moving forward. In the chapter in the manual I try to show a difference between what we desire (freedom, to move forward, know truth, go to a memory etc.) and what we will. What we desire is usually the right thing but our will is made evident by where we are. If we are stuck then it is connected to the will which is resting on a belief. I may desire to move forward but my will is where I am at any given moment. Even if you are able to feel the emotional pain and are able to get to the memory and identify the belief in the memory, yet still do not find resolve and peace then there is still some belief in place or you are not yet at the place where you need to be. But you are where you are based upon your will. If there is still yet a place that you need to look at, your hesitancy/inability to get there is also hindered by a belief that you are holding and thus the choice that you are making not to go there (will). I do not say this to frustrate you. I am sure that you would say to me "but I do want to be free and I do want to go wherever I need to go!" I believe that this is your heart's desire but we are all where we are based upon belief and choice (will). (When I am being abused as a little child this is not about choice, I am referring to the context of the ministry session.)


3) You said that where you are (stuck) is really making you feel bad, like there is something wrong with you that God won't show up. This may be the very place you need to be. I would encourage you to feel what it feels like to believe that God is not showing up and that there is something wrong with you. Allow yourself to think this belief and feel what it feels like. Follow this emotion to its memory source and see what happens. This very well may have a historical root that needs to be exposed.


Finally, if they are willing, have one or all of your facilitator's to send me an email describing their perspective and let me respond to what they share. I really want to see you find the peace that the Lord desires for you. He is not withholding anything from you. There is a belief that you are holding that has to be discovered and exposed. Only you know what it is. You have the ability to do the work to figure it out. In the chapter in the new manual I have questions that you can ask yourself that might be helpful as well. I encourage you to persevere and keep seeking. I have been at this for over tens years and still struggle with every session. However, there is truth waiting for those who are willing to feel what they must feel, expose what they have hidden and who are willing to come clean before the Lord and allow Him to reveal His truth. I believe that you are moving in the right direction.


I hope that this helps


Ed Smith

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