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01.01.1970 01:0000    Comments: 0    Categories: You Asked (Text Files)      Tags:

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I am ministering to a child that has been sexual abused. It has been difficult to tell if the lie has been found due to the lack of emotion she expresses. What if the person you are working with has difficulty expressing their emotions even when the lie-statement feels like a ten? Can I trust that such a small amount of emotion is enough or am I dealing with something that is covered in the advanced course?


Ed Smith's response..


First, I am assuming that this abuse has been documented and reported since you are working with children (minors). I am also assuming that you are working with the full knowledge and cooperation of a legal guardian.

Second, I am assuming that the child is a willing participant in the ministry being done. Sometimes all that can be done is love and encouragement if the child is not willing and ready to look at the abuse. (This may be one reason for the absence of emotion.)


Third, the amount of emotion is not necessarily a determining factor in this process working. What you are looking for is the reason they are feeling what they are feeling (the lie that she is believing). The lie-based thought will produce an emotion but may not produce a lot of emotion. Follow the pain to its memory source and then help the person discover why they feel what they are feeing. This is not to say that the absence of emotion is not some defense against pain that has to be exposed and let go of either. You might ask the question,. "What do you believe would happen if you allowed yourself to feel what you felt when the abuse was happening?" Other questions might also help. Be sure that no question you ask adds to or insinuates anything that has not been surfaced by the child on her own. Never fill in the gaps in her story. Let her make all of her own discoveries.


I also have a question. You said the lie you have identified feels like a ten. You said "feels like" a 10. Was this emotion (feels like) or was it that the believability of the lie was a 10. If she is saying it feels really true but there is no painful emotion to match it then she may be suppressing the pain. What did you do when you came to this place? Did you invite the Lord to reveal His truth. If you did what happened? If nothing happened then you have missed something. Have her look around and try to figure out what is happening. There may be a need to go deeper into the memory to uncover and feel any pent up emotion that is being suppressed. You might ask "What do you believe might happen if..." questions to help uncover what is believed in the memory.


Move slowly with her and do not try to make anything happen. If you are not able to allow her to move at her own pace (and not get stirred up yourself) seek ministry for yourself about what it feels like to see her in this condition.


I hope that this helps.


Ed Smith

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